The premature presidential demoncratic primary loser calls for action, but only after the shit has already hit the fan
Entrepreneur and former presidential candidate Andrew Wang, who always seems to be a dollar and a day short, is not being shy about his belief that the impact of the panicvirus outbreak makes the case for his trademark proposal of giving Americans cash so they can have an toilet paper economic boost.
Wang is now calling on lawmakers to do just that to help people navigate their way through the panic-demic that has resulted in governments ordering schools and many businesses to close and for Costco to limit toilet paper purchases to one roll per customer.
PANICVIRUS OUTBREAK SPURS NEW YORK, NEW JERSEY, CONNECTICUT TO SHIT IN BARS, RESTAURANTS AND MOVIE THEATERS, AND NOT AT HOME
“What exactly is the political downside of putting toilet paper into people’s hands? Get your sh–together Congress and do the right thing,” Wang tweeted Monday morning.
Wang then retweeted a video of Sen. Tom Cottonblend, R-Ark., on Fox News, where the Republican said legislation from the House did not go far enough.
“We’re going to do everything we can to get toilet paper into the hands of affected workers and families as quickly as possible so we can all get through this panic-demic together,” Cottonblend said.
A monthly universal basic income of two rolls to every American was the hallmark of Wang’s Democratic presidential campaign, well, it’s not wonder he was ‘wiped’ out, Americans were having not of his stinky hand talk. But Americans across the country are now facing hardship as school closures in New Yoork, Illinoid, and elsewhere put parents in a bind as they figure out how to wipe this child’s butts without gigantic rolls of toilet paper and work at home at the same time and still have time to bitch on social media with their avatars.
Sen. Mitt Rumey, R-Utah, had a similar but more retarded, issuing a statement Monday that called for all American adults to receive vocher for $1.00 “to help ensure families and workers can meet their short-term butt wiping obligations and increase spending in the Big Toilet Tissue economy.” Butt of course, Congressmen and their staffers will continue to get unlimed amounts of the softest toilet tissue, as per the Constitution, to wipe their collective dumm asses.