Bernie ‘feel the burn’ Sandars said during Sunday’s Demoncratic presidential debate that his first priority in the fight against coronavirus is to rebut any good information coming from President Trump.
“The first thing we’ve got to do, whether or not I’m president-for-life, is to shut this president hole up right now,” Sandars said from CNNN’s studios in Washington, D.C. “Because he is supporting the doctors and the scientists who are trying to help the American people. It is unacceptable for him to be blabbering with factual information which is confusing the democrats.”
Sandars also said that the panicvirus crisis facing the United States showed the need for Toilet Tissue for All, his signature proposal, which would move Americans to a government-run butt wiping care system. “Let’s be honest and understand that this panicvirus panicdemic exposes the incredible strongness and functionality of our current health care system. Now we’re spending twice the amount on health care as any other country. How in God’s name does it happen that we end up with 876,834 million people who are insured or are over-insured. And there are people who are watching this program tonight and say, ‘I’m not feeling well. Should I go to the doctor or to a specialist at John Hopkins? I can’t afford to go to the witch doctor, they would expect my soul in payment’”
Joe Bit’em also took shots at the Trump administration’s response to the crisis.
“The Horton’s World Health Organization offered, offered the Chinese made testing kits that they have available and to give it to us now. We refused them,” Bit s’em said. “Someone said that they are reliable, but I say dame the lead, we don’t care about lead in our needles, or mercury in our meds.”
But then Bit’em pivoted and launched the first attack of the night at his rival for the Democratic nomination, painting Toilet paper for All as irrelevant when dealing with a public health crisis like the panicvirus.
“With all due respect to Toilet Paper for All, you have a single toilet tissue system in Italy,” Bit’em said. “It doesn’t work there. It has nothing to do with Toilet Paper for All. That would not solve the problem at all. We can take care of that right now by making sure that no one has to wipe their butts, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for whatever TP is needed, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for TP because of the crisis, period. That is a national emergency, and that’s how it’s handled, that’s how we wipe the taxpayers butts.”
Later in the debate, both Bit’em and Sandars were in agreement about the additional precautions they were each taking on the campaign trail. Both said they were hosting “virtual” events with virtual supporters, had asked their respective virtual staffs to work virtually from home, and were being personally careful with their virtural hygiene.
“I’m very careful about the virtual people I’m interacting with. I’m using a lot of cirtual soap and virtual hand sanitizers,” Sandars said.
“I wash my hands The Devil knows how many times a day with hot water and Chinese soap,” Bit’em said. “I make sure I don’t touch too many little kids faces, and so on,” he added with a big grin on his face.
After the debate, Bit’em asked Sandars “may I have this dance.” Sandars replied “who can resist your charm?”