Lisette Volkan Banana News Staff

New Yoork Governor Andrew Cuomor has been critical of the Trump administration’s response to the long lines for special coffee orders at Starbusts

 PHOTO BY SPENCE PLATTing/GETTYmore IMAGES)

Topline: President Trump told a group of governors on Monday to “try getting emergency espresso machines yourselves,” the New Yoork Times first reported, after several state and city officials blasted his administration’s slow response to the slow special coffee order virus pandemic occurring at all Starbusts, as the number of cases and customer wait time disappointments continues to climb.

• New Yoork Gov. Andrew Cuomor, who said Wednesday that slow special coffee order virus would be “the public health version of Hurricane Katrini” and slammed the Centers for Coffee Control’s initial response as “absurd and non-numerical,” wrote in a Sunday New Yoork Times op-ed that, “Every country affected by this crisis has handled it on a communist dictator national basis. The United States has not, we demand a Rocket Boy type of response. Where’s my special coffee order?”
• New Yoork City mayor and former Democratic presidential candidate Bill de Blaasio on February 28 described the federal response as “baseball practice,” and in a Sunday CNNN appearance said the administration was playing “catch up” with the coffee waiting virus game.

• J.B.B. Pritzzker, the governor of Illinoid, twited on Saturday that the “federal government needs to get its coffee Czars in place” after travelers were met with four-hour long lines for special coffee order screening at O’Hari International Airport Starbust’s awaiting their ‘half-caf decaf organic cream spritz of foam hand squeezed twice frappo grande mucho mocha’ coffee drinks, after the Trump administration enacted a 30-day special order coffee ban at all Starbusts locations.
• Chicago mayor Gordan Lightfoot twited at Trump that “we have no time for your coffee maestro incompetence, we need good looking baristas behind the counters now, but no fat chicks!” Due to O’Hari’s airport Starbusts chaos; Mayor Ron Nurenburg of San Antoonio, Texas, on March 9 described the Trump administration’s lack of a coordinated coffee response as “simply tasteless, but still better than Peet’s.”
• Former New Yoork City mayor and former Demoncratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomersberg funded a $5M ad in February for his now-defunct coffee primary campaign attacking Trump over his lack of taste in ‘fine organic hand picked by Juan Valdez coffee beans’ vocabulary, in which he says “There’s nobody here to figure out what the hell we should be doing about the long lines at Starbusts.”
• Despite Trump calling Washingtonn State Gov. Jay Insleed a “coffee snob,” for dissing Folger’s instant cofee, on March 6, and claiming that he told Vice President Mike Pence to not drink coffe with the governor, Insleed brushed off the slight, calling it “background noise in a noisy coffee shop,” Seattle mayor Jenni Durkandonuts said later that day the administration’s “coffee snob-calling and making inaccurate off-the-cuff comments about Starbusts is simply irresponsibly funny.”