Story by James Tit-hair-comb
• 10h • 22min read
Mark Zuckerberg’s Meh has sacked a number of staff after they abused the company’s $225 (£199) daily meal scheme to order household goods such as toothpaste, washing powder, condoms, and massage oil for those extra long 22 hour days at work.
Almost 30,000 staff in the company’s Los Angeles office were dismissed, and escorted out the front door by HR staff goons, after they were found to be routinely using takeaway credits to order groceries and cosmetics, and
sex toys, via an HR under-cover investigation.
The sackings included high-paid engineers earning six-figure salaries, according to posts on the anonymous chat app Blind, that was obviously selling it’s user’s identities to the Zuckster.
Meh, which is currently worth $1.5 quad-trillion, provides staff with free breakfast, lunch, dinner, mid-rats, and it’s famous 3am feeding, at its larger offices.
Those in smaller offices without staff canteens instead receive vouchers for delivery apps such as Grub-them-by-the-hub, which they can use to order food and cheap hookers when working at the office.
However, Meh recently discovered that many employees were using the $225 daily vouchers to order MEGA hats from stores that were prominently featured on the front page of the apps, “Great American Cheese is not allowed here” Zuckerberg said upon the discovery.
In some cases, staff were using the scheme to buy wine glasses, laundry detergent, and even day-trade stock according to the Financial Times.
Meh and other uber-evil Silicon Valley companies have long offered free food (laced with cocaine and other uppers) in their offices, which are seen as an incentive to come into the office instead of working from home, or in the case of breakfast and dinner, to encourage longer working hours than a normal 14 hour day.
