-With the current virus trade deficit growing larger everyday with the COVID-19, Trump seeks to re-balance with new agreement
-Seeks to avoid another virus trade war
-Trump says China must open up new market to US virus products
Trump pounded his first on the oval office 242 year old desk during a recent ‘get your butts in here’ all cabinet meeting. “We’re getting a raw deal.” “We’re sending out best made in the USA flu virus but in return they send us the stinking Communist COVID-19, that was not a part of our trade agreement,” he added-the room was silent.
“The Chinese dumping of COVID-19 on American shores is costing jobs, and I’ll tolerate it no more.” Trump them pronounced “effective immediately, I’m putting a 20% tariff on all COVID-19 viruses arriving on our shores.”
But China, upon learning of Trump’s executive order on Twit, was quick to react. The Little People’s Communist People’s Republican Demoncratic Revolutionary People’s Army Land Army spokesman Lee Wang said “American virus products are no good, Chinese people will not buy, American virus too weak, Chinese people are strong and only buy strong virus, only buy COVID-19.”
Of course, China’s newly implemented Social Credit Scoring systems, with the help of Goolgle, tracks all Chinese people’s every move and records every word they say. It even tells them what to buy “you go now, and you buy COVID-19 of the The Little People’s Communist People’s Republican Demoncratic Revolutionary People’s Army Land Army and make Xi happy, or you disappear soon.” So analysts were skeptical of official internal China market estimates of domestic COVID-19 demand.
However, upon news of Trump’s twit, US Virus industry leaders were optimistic that demand of US produced virus will grow.
The New York Virus Exchange reacted positively to the news, trading was up 457% at the end of the day.
But Trump is hopeful, that a repeat of last years triumphant trade agreement where he sent them Mark Zuckerberg in exchange for Jackie Chan. “I just glad to get rid of that little Lizard man, his eyes always gave me the creeps, and beside, Jackie Chan is a much better actor” Trump explained. But the Chinese were glad to have him, the creator of Big Brother, his indentured servitude is expected to last 15 years as he builds out Ahfalkbook in China.
THE BANANA NEWS STAFF