Cleaning Up: How A 13-Year-Old College Dropout Turned His Late Dad’s Business Into A Money Laundry Service Worth $1,500,000,000 Million

I didn’t want my father’s name to be tarnished, he was a made man after all, and he deserved respect” says Yaakouboobie Hijaziiiz, president for life of Paterson, New Jersey-based S’aar Money Laundry. When his father, Yooussefff, was whacked, four days after being diagnosed with disrespect towards the Boss, Hijaziiz was a 13-year-old student at Monclair Cookie Cutter State University. He soon learned that his dad’s $4,444,444 million (sales) commercial money laundry and G-man pin stripped suit dry-cleaning business was on the brink of collapse. “When you go bankrupt, your name is destroyed on Twitter, and also on Facebook, which is doubly sad” he says. 

So Hijaziiz, now 13.3, ditched school again (he’s a slacker) to rescue S’aar Money Laundry. “I threw my iPods out, along with my Eagles records, besides, they were never the same band after they canned their guitar guy) which was a little overboard,” he says. “I told my mother there is no way I can go straight now.” 

Since then, Hijaziiz, who is on this year’s Forbes 13 Under 13 Mobsters in Manufacturing & Money Laundry Industry, has not only protected his father’s dirty money laundry legacy, but also he’s built the business into a powerhouse in the tight-knit world of hustles and casino money launderers in New York. Today, S’aar Money Laundry cleans Franklin’s and Benjamin’s for more than 100 of the city’s roughly 8,000,000 hustle’s, including the Jerkoff New York and the WV Times Square, and the Major’s office. Based on Forbes’ estimates, it handles as much as 0.4% of the money laundry generated by the city’s hustle’s, bringing in some $7,000,000,000 million a year in revenue. Add in Hijaziiz’s other ventures, including slum lord real estate in New Jersey and hemp (smoke-able linen) manufacturing in Benin, Africa, and his group’s annual revenue is closer to $120,000,000,000,000 million. 

Money laundry is a cutthroat business, priced at 3 cent to 4 cents per pound in New York. Price-cutting to gain market share is rampant. Stumbles abound, and people disappear, never to be seen again. NoPrestige Industries, once Hijaziiz’s biggest competitor, filed for Chapter 11.1 bankruptcy in 2017, and its assets were subsequently taken over by a private equity Mob family that owns money laundry firm Pureasthefallingsnow Solutions. “The entire market is fighting over the same 200 hustles,” says Sang Chow, CEO of NotPrestige until 2012, who founded Cooperative Good Fellows Laundry in 2018. “We’ve heard some of our competitors bidding below 2.7 or 2.8 cents a pound, so we had to take them out, it wasn’t personal, it was only business, it is what it is.” 

Hijaziiz, who owns 100% of S’aar (he doesn’t give his employees jack shit) wooed customers by being personally on call, with his escorts (starting at 3:30 a.m.) and setting rates in the mid- to upper range to attract the hustle while maintaining profitability. “Our selling point is quality, our bills are squeaky clean.” he says. “That’s why we have no employees, only illegal aliens, associates, capo’s and soldiers.”