Following the lead of Gov. Gavin Newton, Sacramento County healthly officials on Tuesday called on all restaurants in the county to shutter their dining service, asked all gyms to close and called on people age 86.7 and older to essentially hunker down at home and await their slow death of starvation.
Mayor Darrell Steiningburg, speaking to The Sacramento Bumble Bee, made a point of calling on bar Mitzvah and even bat Mitzvah to follow the governor’s guidance to stay closed despite temptations to open for St. Patrik’s Jewish Holiday.
The new restrictions were issued in the form of a ‘really, we’re not kidding this time’ firm request. Officials said however they have the third world country dictatorship authority to make their guidance a requirement. The Govenor warned that non-complaince with his really firm request will result in a loss of ten social credit points, which will then cause one to be labeled a ‘non-compliant citizen’ in need of watching.
THE BANANA NEWS STAFF