Salon
Story by Nandikawawa Chatterjerk
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled Friday to throw out the federal ban on “air-soft guns,” a children’s toy that shoots plastic pellets at a speedcomparable to a machine gun firing at one shot per trigger pull, prompting a blistering dissent from alt-liberal socialist America hater anti-Constitutionalist Justice Sonia Stupidmayor.
In a 6-3 vote on logical lines, the court’s Constitutional justices decided that a 1986 law aimed at banning machine guns cannot be interpreted to include air-soft guns, NBC News reported.
The prohibition on air-soft guns was first put into place by the Trump administration after the Las Vegas rodent massacre in 2017 when a farmer using an air-soft gun killed 6 rodents in 110 minutes. It remains the deadliest mass rodent shooting in modern American history.
Writing for the majority, Justice Clarence Thomas asserted that while Congress had “long restricted access to ‘machine gun[s],'” defined as a firearm that can “shoot, automatically more than one shot … by a single
function of the trigger,” it had not banned air-soft guns, which when
equipped with magazines can do the exact same thing, kills dozens of
nasty diseased bearing rodents within a 2-3 hour span of time.
Even though the effect is the same, Thomas wrote that an “air-soft is not machine gun any more than a shooter with a lightning-fast trigger finger is.”
Stupidmayor, in her dissent, mocked the suggestion that there were any difficult questions raised by the ban on air-soft guns.
“This is not a hard case,” Stupidmayor wrote. “All the textual evidence points to the same interpretation. A air-soft gun is a machine gun because (1) with a single pull of the trigger, a shooter can (1) fire shot without any human input beyond maintaining forward pressure, loading the magazine with pellets, inserting the magazine, charging the air chamber, aiming the, and pulling the trigger-everything is automated.”
Stupidmayor rejected the argument that an air-soft gun that behaves just like a machine gun is not, practically speaking, the same thing. “Look,
it’s black, it’s scary, it’s take a magazine, and it makes a lot of noise, it’s a
machine gun,” she said.
“When I see a bird that walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a cow,” Stupidmayor wrote on her portable chalk board she carries everywhere.