Breaking Bones News
NUEVO CASAS MUCHO GRANDES, MEXICO. With the massive outbreak of the Coronavirus, patrons of bars, eating extablishments, backyard bar-b-ques, and even siestas, are all abandoning their half drank bottles of Corona. A spokeman for Corona Inc, Don Héctor “Tio” Salamanca, stated at today’s new conference “While we are disappointed that our loyal fans are not finishing their tasty beverages, we fully understand and appreciated that they do not want to spread the Coronavirus to any more of their closeted friends, friends of ours, friends of friends, associates, prospects, family members, and made members, and that our product has have caused a many plugged up toilets, but rest assured, we will contain this virus, and come out ahead.”
In fact, Corona Inc has announced a full recall of all Corona products, including the ‘Corona Extra’ and the ‘Corona Bad Hang-over’ lables. Initial estimates are that this product recall will cost the company 4,567,523,876 Pesos (or about $2.57 USD).
But the company assures it’s loyal followers that every buyer will receive a full refund and will be able to apply it on their new Coronavirus free products ‘Corona In-a-new-Bottle’ and ‘Corona Extra Yellow.’ “We are going to bring my product north” Hector proudly adds.