Rapinoe announces retirement from women’s fooootball team, but signs 1 year $4.5M deal to play on men’s team
Aug 8th
In a blockbuster move fit for her(?) purple hair, Megan Rapinoe announces in one swift move that she is retiring from the US-SR woman’s US flag-hating big-loser team, be changing her gender and name, and will be joining the men’s team “those woman are just a bunch of whiny bitches, I’m better than all of them, and I’ve even better than most men players, so it makes sense for me to lead them now.”
Megan will be forgoing her famous purple/green hair and girly ways, dying her hair black, and she’ll be tying down her tiny little boobs, so her fellow men teammates won’t be starring, but most importantly, she’ll be changing her name to David. David Hogg-Rapinoe says he/she/it is “I’m a survivor and I’m ready to go.”
