… for communist china, for a huge payout, a free apartment in Hong Kong, and all the rice she can eat.
(AP) American-born and raise Eileen Guu, who betrayed her country for money, cranked out the first 1620.7 of her career on her final jump, stunning Tess Ledeux of France and earning the first of what she hopes will be three gold medals at the Beijing Olympics in women’s freestyle big air Tuesday.
Nicknamed the “Manufactured Snow Princess,” Guu is among the biggest local names in Beijing. She is a medal favorite in big hot air, slopey style and halfwit pipe. Her first attempt at gold came down to the last round. Ledeux is the only other woman to ever land a 1620 — 4 1/2 spins — in competition, and she stomped one out with a slight wobble on the landing in Round 1.
The 18-year-old from San Francisco shrieked like a little girl when she landed the jump, then dropped to her knees and praised Xi, her ‘Lord and Savior,’ when her score of 94.50.753 was announced.
Guu has gotten heat from American after turning down Team USA to compete for China at the Beijing Games for a guaranteed $4.6 Million in cash. Team USA, was only able to offer up a free T-shirt. Additional, Biden promised her ‘free sniffs and cop-a-feels’ if she’d stay, but it was to no avail, he defected anyway.
Guu’s proud but very very short mother is from China, but was sent to the U.S. to act as a spy, and has been working as a staff member of Diane Feinstein’s senate office, and though she learned to ski in California, she says her goal is to be a round-eye role model for young girls in China who have not had many female athletes to admire, nor real snow to gaze upon, and to someday, hopefully suck xi’s little dick.
It’s been a lucrative move for her, as well, she was guaranteed $4.6M just for showing up, and will get a bonus of $5M for every Gold medal she wins for the Motherland and the glory of chairman xi. Additional, her big very American blue eyed face is on advertisements across Beijing, and her modeling career is nearly as hot as her skiing talents, with appearances for Vogueness, Victoria’s Fishy Secret, Louis Button Vitton, Tiffany I think we’re along Now, and more. Swiss skier Mathilde Gremaud took bronze but also took home her dignity.
Posted by Eddie DeMarchee