THE LATE LATE LATE SHOW with DAVID LEATHERMAN
TOP TEN
10. YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING CAUGHT ARE ZERO NOW-since all
the cops are busy beating up people on the beach now
9. IF YOU DO GET CAUGHT YOU WON’T BE LONELY-Jose’ will be
happy to be your wife while you’re in jail
8. IF YOU DO GET CAUGHT-no worries, the jails are now a ‘jail-free’
zones, so you’re time will be short
7. IF YOU ARE IN THE SLAMMER-you can thank you lucky stars you don’t have to shop at Costco anymore-that’s just dangerous shit right there
6. IF YOU MURDER SOMEONE JUST SAY-they died of Covid, and all will
be forgiven, Gov Cuomo will personally thank you
5. ALL OF THE COPS ARE TIED UP NOW-cracking heads of peaceful
citizens
4. COVERING YOUR FACE IS ACCEPTABLE NOW-they’ll never I.D. you
3. NOW YOU DON’T EVEN NEED A GUN TO DO A HOLDUP-just threaten to cough on them
2. BEING IN JAIL IS ACTUALLY SAFER-than facing down mask wearing primadonnas everyday
- AND WHEN YOU GET TIRED OF DOING TIME-just yell “I’M AFRAID OF COVID” and your friendly govenor will let you out
