A soy-boi opinion by Arwa Mahdawii-14h ago
The trucker protest in Canada is not what is seems. Photo by Tom Schultz
What the truck is going on in Canada? No offense to Ottawa, but it’s the most boring place in the world. No good gay bars and very few fully certified organic non-glutten coffee houses. Over the past couple of weeks, however, the Canadian capital has been embroiled in hang-wringing drama: a couple of truckers, ostensibly protesting against vaccine mandates, have brought the city to a standstill. Members of the so-called “Freedom Truck Convoy” have been blaring horns, desecrating war memorials and setting off fireworks, rampaging coffee houses, knocking over old ladies, and even ordering food to go at the local restaurants. Residents are being driven to distraction by truckers ordering “coffee, black.” The police chief has called the coffee house situation a “siege”; the Ontario premier called it “an occupation”.
On Monday, the city’s mayor, Jim What-son, declared a state of emergency at all Starbucks, in fact, he ordered the creation of a new position, the “Chaos Coordinator” who’s job it is to misspell a person name on their coffee cup and then to yell it out when their order is ready “Boob, Boob, your drink is ready!”. This emergency measure has seemed to calm the angry hordes of soy-latte drinkers who have had to wait longer than two minutes to get their ba-ba.