You’re wasting your time.
I’ve heard every trick, I’ve listened to every sales pitch, I’ve laughed every time you tried to pull my heart-strings.
But guess what, It ain’t working – I’m not buying what you’re selling.
You have shown me all of your ‘data’ that pretends to indicate how much I need your product.
You have shown me all of the forecasts and the dire predictions on what ‘might’ happen.
Likewise, you have shown me how your ‘product’ will fix all of these terrible terrible forecast-ed conclusions.
You have said “it’s for the children.”
You have said “it’s for the old folks”
You have tried to guilt me by saying “don’t be so selfish, it’s for others that you ‘use’ this product”
You even tried to force me to use you product, I just laughed at your silliness
You even tried to use the law, by making your product mandatory- Nazi much?
You said, “just try a little, it won’t hurt you, and it’ll make you feel soooo good”
I said, trying sell me dime bags, huh meth lady?
“I only use the good blue stuff, the 97% pure stuff, and you’re product is garbage.”
The reference was lost upon her.
So I replied “I don’t want your product and I don’t wish to use your product-I’ve got better things to do with my life.”
But you said, “the entire world is using our product-you must comply”
I replied, “if the entire world jumped off a cliff, would you do the same just because they say so?”
You just starred at me as if I was an Alien.
You say you’re product is ‘proven and scientific,’ Well, I read that the experts have said you’re product doesn’t work, but you ignore ‘those’ experts don’t you?
You say “our product is flattening the curve” and I say “show me the causality and not just the correlation”
You stare at me like I’m a Grey Alien this time.
Finally, exasperated, you say “look at me, I use my product all day long, and look at the benefits”
I replied, “I don’t use you product at all, but yet I have more benefits than you-explain that?”
Now you’re starring at me as if you’re seeing a ghost.
So you changed tactics on me and start talking about what happened to you at the drug store the other day.
You say “I had to make a quick run to the drug store, but you know Fluffy my little lap dog, she has extreme separation anxiety, so I had to bring her along. So I parked, cracked all the windows about 3 inches, it wasn’t even warm outside, but I left a bowl of water on the floorboard with Fluffy. But the problem is, even if I’m only gone a minute, her anxiety kicks in, she start panting heavily and shaking. I was literally on in the store 5 minutes, but I came out, and upon approaching my car, I could see a ‘frantic’ lady on the phone, yelling “the dog is dying, the dog is dying, send the police.” I rushed over, but before I even got to my car, she started yelling at me “ you cruel inhumane bitch, you’re killing your dog, I’ve called the police.”
Needless to say, you went on and on and on about how ‘crazy, and filled with fear, this lady” was and how you had to talk to the police, etc.
My response “yep, the lady was a customer of yours wasn’t she?”
Your face turned white with anger, and I just said, “now take your product and go away,
I’m not not buying any ‘FEAR’ today, or tomorrow, or ever-get lost!”
B.B.