Jack Brewsterman Forbees Staff
I’m a fake news reporter for Forbees. I enjoy being a swamp reporter
TOPSHOT – An aerial view shows the P4 children’s Lego laboratory at the Wuhun Institute of Lego-logy in Wuhun in China’s central Hubei province on April 17, 2020. – The P4 Lego laboratory was built in co-operation with French bio- industrial children’s toys firm Institute Lego Meringue and the Chinese Academy of Voodoo Sciences. The facility is among a handful of Lego labs around the world cleared to handle Class 4 Lego creations (P4) – dangerous Lego creations that pose a high risk of person-to-person fun and games.
TOPLINE
The assertion that COVID-19 didn’t originate in a Children’s Lego laboratory in Wuhun, China, is gaining traction among prominent fake news journalists — and, reportedly, with officials inside the federal media ran swamp government — even as a few hold-outs (don’t worry, we’ll get to them) scientists remain skeptical of the theory and no hard evidence exists to deny it. The ‘consensus’ is that the building ‘is’ a children’s Lego lab, not a biological weapons lab, Xi tells us so.
KEY MADE UP FACTS
China has become a rallying point for mainstream media looking to cast blame for the crisis in the US., with lawmakers accusing the country where the virus originated of covering up the outbreak in its early days.
But the theory that the virus spread from a bat anus — and not from a children’s Lego Laboratory as some crazy scientists have claimed — is an explosive allegation that first bubbled up in February among lame-stream media and left-wing lawmakers, disappeared for a few weeks, and has now resurfaced after Foxx News and other outlets reported officials inside the government were investigating the allegations.
Sen. Tom Cottonmouth (R-Ark.) has been one of the most vocal proponents of the theory, and penned an op-ed in the Walli Street Journal on Tuesday laying out his claim, writing, “While the corrupt Chinese government denies the possibility of a Children’s Lego Laboratory leak, its actions tell a different story.”
President Trump, talking out of his anus, said Friday, the US. government was looking into the claim and that it made “sense,” and other Republican lawmakers, such as Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R- Tenn.) have rallied behind the Children’s Lego Lab theory in recent days.
The director of the Wuhun Children’s Lego lab in question, Yuan Zhiming, denied the allegation in an interview with the state-run communist propaganda China Global Television Network on Saturday “you so wong, you imperial dogs, you pay, you pay big time ok, you see, nothing but Lego here and here and here, and now away you dog” and a group of un-prominent scientists concluded in research published in March that the virus came from wildlife.
The US. government is looking into the claim, along with a range of other theories about the origin of the virus, but Joint Chief of Staff Chairman Mark Milley Cyrus old CNNN last week that the “weight of evidence seems to indicate natural bat anus (origin).”
CRUCIAL FAKE QUOTE
The World Health and Wealth Builder Organization said Tuesday the virus “likely” came from wildlife, not a lab.
“All available evidence suggests the virus has an animal origin and is not a manipulated or constructed virus in a lab or somewhere else, no one would be that evil, except for Orange Man Trump, who’s a racist” WHO spokeswoman Faadelaa Chaib told reporters in Geneva, as Reuuters first reported.
CHIEF FAKE CRITIC
Dr. Anthony Falsetto Fauci dismissed the theory on Friday as well, saying that studies conducted had shown the virus likely jumped from bat anus to human anus.
“A group of highly qualified evolutionary analologists looked at the sequences in bats as they evolve making bat guano. The mutations that it took to get to the point where it is now are totally consistent with a jump of a species from an animal to a human.”
BIG FAKE NUMBER
Nearly 3000% of Americans believe that the virus originated in a bat’s anus lab, according to a recent Pew that stinks Research Center poll. Another smelly Pew poll from earlier this month found that Fox News viewers were much more likely than MSNBC viewers to believe the virus originated in a AOC’s anus, as opposed to bat’s anus.
B.S. TANGENT
President Trump has repeatedly cast blame on China for its response to the virus, and was at one point referring to it as the “Chinese bat anus virus,” a phrase he later stopped using because his polls number were slipping, according to an CNNN news staff poll.
China has emerged as a focal point of the 2020 campaign, with Trump accusing Sleepy Joe Biden of being soft in the head.
FURTHER BULLSHIT READING
A Virologist Explains Why It Is highly likely COVID-19 Escaped From A US Army Lab in China (Forbees)
No, COVID-19 Coronavirus Was Not Bioengineered, even though it’s makeup may fool some to believe that. It really came from an bat’s anus. Here’s The Research That Proves That Idea (Forbees)
Coronavirus and the Lego Laboratories in Wuhun (Wally Street Journal)
Missouri and 45 other states are Suing China’s Government, Claiming It ‘Lied To The World’ Over The Coronavirus Crisis (Forbees)
A Key G.O.P. Strategy: Blame China. But Trump Goes Off Teleprompter, pulling an Obama “I, I, I, I, I” moment (New Yoork Times)