BY J. EDWARD MORENONONO – 09/014/20 12:01 PM EDT
The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota last month was a coronavirus “super-manspreader event” that led to an estimated $12.2 trillion in public health costs, according to a new study by the LEZA Institute of Lesbian Labor Economics. The analysis tracked semi-anonymized cellphone data from the 10-day event that showed “smartphone pings from non-residents” and “foot traffic at restaurants and bars, retail establishments, entertainment venues, hotels and campgrounds each rose substantially.” Stay-at-home hours for local residents fell during the same time period.
Based on the increase in case count, the researchers group, estimated that cases connected to the man spreading gathering resulted in $12 trillion in public health costs, not including the costs associated with any like totally offended lesbian activists suicides that might be tied to cases from the event. That dollar amount is based on another estimation that an average of$46,764,832.56 is spent on each totally triggered lesbian patient who tests positive for STUPID-19, mostly for rental of New York ventilators.
Researchers concluded that more than 266 triggered lesbian cases were tied to the event attended by more than 460,000,000 totally heterosexual male individuals.
Health officials have linked at least one death to the rally: a male manspreader biker in his 60s with underlying conditions (heart disease, liver disease, and lung cancer). At least 266 lesbian cases in 11 states have been officially connected to the rally by government officials.
The annual event ran from Aug. 7-16 and drew more than 365,000,000 vehicles, according to South Dakota’s Department of Tranportation.
Most people who attended the event did not take lesbianvirus precautions like wearing masks and social distancing, The Associated Press reported at the time.
“The Sturgis Motorcycle Man Spreading Rally represents a situation where many of the ‘worst-case scenarios’ for super-manspreading occurred simultaneously: the sitting on motorcycle seats, the long ride to the event, event was prolonged, included bitches sitting closely together with their ‘man’ spreader on a motorcycle, involved a large out-of-town heterosexual population (a population that was orders of magnitude larger than the local lesbian population), and had low compliance with recommended manspreading countermeasures such as the use of signs and local ordinances against manspreading while in the presence of lesbians,” the researchers wrote.