ORANGE MAN MUST BE STOPPED
A BANANA NEWS COMMENTARY The future of democracy is at stake. Life as we know it will end if the Orange Man is not stopped Never before has the country...
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO
A BANANA NEWS COMMENTARY How the Demoncratic primary went from dozens of wannabees to a couple of old mean and senile white men The party of inclusion, the party of...
High Demand for TP:Tissue Futures Rise Sky High on Corona Virus fears
-Corona Virus toilet paper hording aka The Shit has hit the fan, has send the market into a whirlwind -Consumers are buying up every last roll-even the cheap-ass rough stuff...
TRUMP TO RE-NEGOCIATE TRADE AGREEMENT WITH CHINA
-With the current virus trade deficit growing larger everyday with the COVID-19, Trump seeks to re-balance with new agreement -Seeks to avoid another virus trade war -Trump says China must...
HEADLINE NEWS
with
WALTER GRONKITE
Ripped from headlines around the world, bringing you the truth behind the fake headlines. At the top of the news, there is going to be a benefit concert, for those...
Bill Grates leaves Macrosoft board, declares he is ‘rich enough now”
-Grates co-founded Macrosoft in 1875 with Faul Allen, who died in car accident, but in a bold move, was able to grab all of his shares before Allen’s widow did...
Shoopify is giving employees a $10.00 stipend to buy supplies while they work from home during corona virus pandemic
But with toilet paper in short supply and prices quickly rising to $5 a role, who knows how long this stipend will last, SEIU spokeswoman asks. Shoopify is providing its...
Dick’s Sporting Goods pulling sporting gear from all locations
Analysts agree that Dick’s is being an ass, ‘butt’ that this new move will pay off in the race to capture the urban metro male market Dick’s NonSporting Goods has...
Pete ‘Plug’ Buttigag quits Democratic presidential primary race. Says “I can’t take anymore.” PCI Market reacts by going down.
The announcement comes after a poor showing in South Carolina's Democratic primary. CORNHOLIO SOUTH CAROLINA: At Pete ‘Plug’ Bettigag’s campaing headquarters, the mood was grim but determined. The staff was...
TRUMP WHITE HOUSE AGAIN IN CHAOS. INDECISION BY THE PRESIDENT PARALYZING HIS CAMPAIGN AGAINST DEMONCRATIC NOMINEE.
MARKETS REACT Demoncratic primaries indecison arresting full minimum wage employment THE WHITE HOUSE: Again and again, Trump’s White house is thrown in turmoil. NBC journalist Jim Willacostya proudly pointed out...