Do you have what it takes to be California Highway Patrol?
We are HIRING!
There is a reason the California Highway Patrol is regarded as one of the top UN- Constitutional enforcement agencies in the nation. At the California Highway Patrol we set a very high standard-we like to crack heads with a single blow. Our job is critical to the preservation of power in Sacramento, and we take an oath to stand for something bigger than ourselves – to provide safety, service and security to all followers or our great leader Supreme Chairman Newscum
-Hiring ‘thousands’ of CHP Troopers, and hundreds of Newscum CHP Explorer ‘Youth’
-20,000 Troopers will be used to ‘trace and track’ every citizen
-”We will win this War against the virus, even if it means shutting down until 2027” Newscum said
We are husbands, mothers, daughters, athletes, rouge ex-military… But there is one thing we all have in common – we love cracking heads. We strive to be the best. The average career just won’t do. We are made for more. Are you?
By joining the best of the best, you will have a chance to make a dramatic difference every day. It is never the same day twice, cracking heads on day, and chasing down those pesky First Amendment proles the next day.
A career with the CHP will give you more than you ever thought possible. More purpose. More opportunity. More satisfaction- the sound of you baton on their miserable scum heads is just pure joy.
APPLY TODAY AT
CA.gov.chp/SS/Stormtroopers/Newsomegoons/crackingheads/CHP/jobs
*Ex-rouge military, newly released felons, gang members, Hitler Youth, Antifa, ISIS, all given expediated hiring processing*